Why am I a spiritual director; a spiritual guide; a spiritual companion? Why did I choose this? 

I did not choose it.  It chose me.

People often come and talk to me; particularly about God. They seek me out. It still surprises me, as I am often slightly distant from a group.  

At university in first year halls of residences, I had a shopping-list pad and I put people’s names on it. Each morning I’d wake up and think about those people. After a while people came and asked if I would write new names on my list. I was not ready to admit that this was prayer. All I knew at the time was that I felt better after going through my list. 

One day a young Muslim person came into my room and asked if I would put some names on my list. He sat talking about his faith; how he felt surrounded by God, his spirituality. There were other visits, and many conversations. Others sought me out. A first-year student, like myself, three days into fresher’s week turned up on a motor bike in red leathers; he was angry and aggressive. Before the evening came to a close, this student was sitting with me, in a corner, talking about her catholic faith.  “How did I know to seek you out and talk about spirituality?” she wondered “You never said anything. I just knew you were a spiritual person.”

At the end of that first year - and after my younger sister was killed in a car accident - I found I was open to talking to others about death and their loss.  Some time later I visited a friend in hospital whose baby was ill.  Another woman’s baby died. The woman was understandably upset.   I approached her and said sorry that your baby died. Thank you she said thank you for saying that. We sat on the edge of the bed talking about how uncomfortable people were with death, about heaven, and the spirituality of an afterlife. 

I went on to join a secular bereavement counseling organization. I worked as a college counselor and as an organizational behaviorist. I wanted more than this though; I wanted to talk about God with people.  

In the years beyond university, and thinking that I was called to the Priesthood, I applied to become a minister in the United Church in Moncton N.B.  Politics became an obstacle. I left and returned to my Anglican roots. The priest at our local church encouraged me to apply to be a priest in the Anglican Church yet after the initial interviews I was uncertain. So were the admissions committee and I received a letter advising me to reconsider or re-apply.  

As one door closes another opens. That afternoon at Trinity College we were given an informal talk on how to choose a spiritual director.  The sister from The Anglican Convent of the Sisters of St John the Divine closed the talk saying “And you may consider whether you are suited to being a spiritual director.  Do people seek you out to talk about God? Do you have a strong prayer life? Are you compassionate listener?”

Yes to all of these questions. After I talked to the sister she said, “You may want to look at the Regis College course, although you can do spiritual direction without qualifications. More and more organizations are asking for something on paper.” That’s what I do, I thought, talk with people about their spiritual journey and walk with them.  That’s what happens when they come and talk to me. I am a spiritual director.

At first, I resisted contacting Regis College because I had images of dogmatic priests suppressing women and my creativity.  That summer I enrolled in a spirituality course using art therapy at St. Stephen’s College in Alberta and over two weeks of the course something nudged me, something stirred inside.  At first I thought I wanted to be an art therapist.  As a slow option though, I enrolled in Trinity College, Toronto an Anglican school, to see if I wanted to take a masters course in spirituality with one course as an occasional student.  

This environment was stimulating. Then sitting in meditative prayer I began to review my gifts, and where I was leaning.  One way to make a difference in the world, to be part of a transformation was to help others find where God was leading them. I phoned Regis College and the director suggested I come the next evening for the information for Ministry class. Still uncertain I attended the first class. The theological reflection, the Jesuit hospitality, and the Ignatius spirituality resonated with me. It felt the right place. As if to confirm this the next week at my local church an older man who was returning to the church began to talk to me about his faith journey.  

Here I was doing what I always did; however, now it was formal and it had a name. Spiritual direction. 

In 2016 I began a discernment to become an associate to the Sisters of St John the Divine, Toronto. We were required to write a rule of life and one of the question was, what are your gifts - how are you using them? One gift I recognized was spiritual direction. How was I using it?  It was more of a casual approach: if someone turned up and asked me, then I worked with them.  I had my own spiritual director, supervisor and peer group. 

In my rule of life, I made a commitment to life-long learning by attend spiritual direction conferences, reading, networking and research. My work as a spiritual director, one-on-one, is augmented by retreats, workshops and consultations in the workplace.

… to contact Annette email annette@aurewines.com